It all happened innocently enough. I wanted to start taking care of myself to be an example to my family, and to honour God. And for awhile that exactly was my motivation.
Somewhere along away, though, I got distracted. I started worrying over every single calorie, every single pound, every single exercise minute. The goal of being an example and honouring God wasn't enough if I didn't weigh x amount of pounds. I felt like a failure and I was sure everyone around me thought I was, too.
I spent three years in a dark pit of despair and dissatisfaction, dug by my own hands and my own need for approval and worth from the outside. I couldn't see God, I couldn't hear God, I couldn't seek God. I thought I would never get out.
God miraculously got my attention one day and over the next several months, I clawed my way out of that pit. As I did, I intentionally sought Him each day and my love for Him and His Word grew more and more.
But I was still dissatisfied.
You see, even though I was out of the pit, I was still clinging to the stronghold of approval. I still needed to weigh just the right amount, be just the right size for people to like me, for God to be happy with me.
When we're dissatisfied, it's more often than not because we are seeking whatever it is we think will satisfy us from anything and anyone but the only One who can actually satisfy us. It's so easy to buy into the world's belief that new clothes or a new house or losing weight or being successful will be all we need.
But I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that none of those things do.
The truth finally started to sink in several months ago as I got tired of crying out to God to help me get over this need to diet and lose weight. It occurred to me that even though I really wanted to be done, I was still just asking Him to melt the extra pounds off with a snap of His fingers so I could be on my merry way.
But you know what? That didn't happen. Instead, He started talking to me about His power. About my motivation. About seeking first His righteousness. About demolishing strongholds with prayer and thanksgiving, not so I could be glorified but so He could be glorified.
And suddenly, that need to look perfect, that need to be approved and admired by others, fell away as I began to experience real satisfaction in knowing simply I am His.
Sweet friend, that thing you are pursuing, hoping it will finally fill you up - while it may look good and seem good on the outside - it just isn't going to cut it. You may feel satisfied for a little while, but it will be temporary. And when the feeling subsides, you will be left feeling emptier than ever before.
To find real satisfaction, real fullness, you only need to do one thing:
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. - Matthew 6:33
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. - Matthew 11:28-29
The weight won't melt off. Your house won't get bigger and your closet won't be full of brand new clothes.
But none of that will matter because your soul will be filled with the sweetest, most satisfying thing of all: