Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Just call me Mom

I've been working my way through Restless - You Were Made For More, by Jennie Allen. First of all, let me just say if you haven't read this book, you seriously need to. Even if you think you know what you were made to do, this book will get you thinking about what God really has made you to do.

I've been operating under the premise this past year that I was supposed to fulfill one of two past callings. Because one isn't an option at this point, I decided to pursue the second. All without truly consulting God about any of it. I figured that if I had done it before, it made sense that I could just step right back into it. I told Him what I was up to, and then proceeded to struggle and agonize for the next twelve months.

Good times.

What I didn't do was pay attention when I heard God call me to leave off working and running a daycare to be fully present as a stay-at-home-mom. God knows that I get distracted easily, and I also have a tendency toward avoidance when things get hard. But I assumed that His directions to sacrifice a meager paycheque had more to do with trust (a recurrent issue in my life) and nothing at all to do with purpose. After all, I had that calling to pursue. Staying at home made perfect geographical sense.

Turns out, I missed the point. While reading Restless, I fully expected to get all fired up to be more than just a mom. Turns out, I've instead started to become fired up to be just a mom. And I hold this quote responsible:

So whether our role is to mother or start a business or sponsor a child or sweep a floor or run a bank or teach little people to read, we don't want to miss it. His Spirit will pour us into need, and who are we to judge where and what is the greatest need? This isn't as much about what or where; this is about getting over ourselves and just doing it. (emphasis mine)

I realized I was so caught up in trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing, that I was missing exactly what I was supposed to be doing!

I believe one hundred percent, even on the days that the bank balance scares me and the school fees are mounting and it is still another week until payday, on the days laundry gets old and I just want to go somewhere, that God has asked me to be home, fully present, for this season. To set aside the things that distract me and pour into the need right in front of me. 

Here I was looking for some big calling and He has just handed me the biggest one.

Linking up for SDG.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Tell

It's hard to feel like your story doesn't matter as much as someone else's.

That feeling that she tells it better, or the things that make up your story aren't nearly as compelling or interesting as hers. It causes you to shrink back, to hold back, to keep the things that make you uniquely you hidden.

I know this feeling all to well; I struggle with it every day. Who I am to think anyone needs or wants to hear from me?

And yet, God doesn't tell us to hide. He tells us to go into all the world, making disciples. Given that Jesus was a wonderful story teller, it doesn't surprise me that one way we can do that is by sharing our stories with others.

We need to tell them - whether by written word or spoken word or photographs or art or song or acts of loving service. Each of these things are beautiful gifts given to us by the One who wants us to share our stories with the world.

Because our stories? They aren't about us at all. They're about the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the One whose story is intricately woven through ours in love and redemption.

When we are afraid to share our stories, when we shrink back, we are robbing the world of the chance to hear about His amazing love.

Let's go out and tell them.

Linking up for Five Minute Friday.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

You are not alone

It's hot and uncomfortable in the house today, and despite my hubby's assurances that yes, the new ceiling fan really is helping the keep the house livable, I'm kind of grumpy. Heat does that to me. And now you know why God made me to live in Western Canada instead of Texas. Even though I wish I lived there when its minus 40 in January, because ain't nobody made for that.

Maybe the heat is to blame for my malaise this week, or maybe it's because my two sweet girls are off at camp and I've been left to navigate the high testosterone levels remaining in our home on my own while my man is at work. Or maybe it's the fact that every single day this week I have felt like huge failure as a parent.

I know you've been there: those seasons when you can't get through to your kids, those days that no matter how much you pray, how much you instruct, how much you discipline, things don't seem to be getting any better. Maybe you're right there with me today. In that case, let me give you a hug and a cup of tea, because you need it.

And maybe you need to hear this, too. This afternoon as I was again despairing of ever getting over this hump, God reminded me of two things:

1. My mom felt this way about me, too. And I turned out okay. (No, really, I did!)
2. This battle is not ours to do alone.

Actually, He just reminded me of number two as I was getting ready to type number one. Lovely, brave, and amazing mom that you are, we don't do this thing alone. He is right beside us, holding our hand. He hears every single prayer, sees every single tear, feels every single heartbreak, and He takes all of it and turns it into beauty for His glory.

It may take years for us to see the fruit of our labour, years before we can look at our kid(s) and finally say with confidence they turned out okay.

But God sees that day already. And for every single way we feel we fall short or let down our kids, He is right there beside us, holding our hand and filling in the gaps.

Don't give up hope, sweet you. You don't do this alone. Let's say that together, shall we?

We don't do this alone.

Yet I am always with you;    you hold me by my right hand. Psalm 73:23

Linking up for Woman2Woman.